EYNESFORD & FARNINGHAM
DANGEROUS SPORTS SOCIETY

Sponsors of the Farningham Lifeboat Crew

Spring Rodeo 2011

The bull riding rodeo was not the success that we had hoped.

To start with it was unfortunate that the bulls turned out to be cows; one would have thought, with all his experience, that the Pilot would be able to tell the difference between bulls and cows but apparently not. It was also unfortunate that Messrs Wm Alexander hadn't actually given permission for us to use their herd of prize Jerseys; will the committee please make sure that proper permissions are sought for future events. I also think that for future rodeo events it would be sensible to build a proper ring with enclosed run out areas in case the animals get fractious.

The committee would like to apologise to the vicar of St. Peter and St. Paul for the damage done to the churchyard but once the cows had got into the High Street it was the only area with a readily available, lockable, gate into which the beasts could be herded and surely the resulting manure could only be beneficial to the ground, far more so than the scatterings of confetti that litter the place every Saturday.

I have to admit that I wasn't aware that cows milk could actually be turned into curds and whey in the udder and, because that process wasn't carried out in properly inspected premises, the cheese is not able to be sold. I do think it was a little officious of the Health and Safety person to get quite so upset about the stall we set up to sell the product in an attempt to offset some of the costs incurred at the event and it was very naughty of some of the younger members of the Society to tie him to that particularly fine Jersey specimen just before the herd was loaded into the animal transporter. Personally I think that, regardless of the number of willing volunteers for the loading process, it is the lorry drivers responsibility to check that no unexpected passengers are riding in the back and that the EFDSS can carry no responsibility for the aforementioned Health and Safety person being arrested as a suspected illegal immigrant.

One bright note is that sales of the varied merchandise we'd ordered; cowbot hats, boots, chaps etc. went extremely well. We would especially like to thank the residents of Hilltop Farm for their contributions. They have asked for their contribution to be kept anonymous and we will respect that request although we did think that it was unusual that the only items they were interested in were the replica firearms. We still have five dozen sets of cowboy hats, boots and chaps left over so if anyone wants to set up a 'Wild West' show they know where to come. It would be good if we could get shot of this stuff as we need the funds to cover the initial set up costs, the cheque from Hilltop Farm has been stopped by the asset recovery division of SOCA.

However it was a lovely day, despite the showers, and everyone had a lot of fun. It was amazing how everyone pulled together when things didn't go according to plan so very well done to you all.

I should add that I have just had a rather hysterical call from the vicar and would like to appeal for volunteers to help in the removal of a distraught Jersey cow from inside the Nash mausoleum. I tried to explain to the vicar that it was quite understandable, given all the confusion of the afternoon, that one of the cows should be overlooked and that we had done our best and that it would be charitable if he and the verger took the creature back to Shoreham themselves, after all he does have the parish minibus, which I pointed out, we are not allowed to use since the unfortunate episode of the amphibious drive across Horton Kirby gravel pits, but he was adamant that we should deal with the poor thing ourselves. Is anyone free next week to drive the cow home? Having your own transport would be an advantage as the Society's Land Rover is still impounded by the Police. Otherwise we can provide a hazel switch.

The Cox

2008 News Letter
2011 Rodeo Report
2013 Music Festival
2016 Kite Attempt